Left My Estranged Family Begging In The Rain For Now Wanting To Reconcile After Siding w/ My EX AITA (2023)

Introduction

My ex wife Sasha and I didn’t end amicably. Was a total nightmare. Up until it was actually finalized she was in denial about us splitting and was doing everything to keep me in her life. When that didn’t work she went overboard. We were separated for 7 months before I filed for divorce. Only a few people knew about our status but she kept telling everyone we were still together and just trying to work it out (we weren’t but that was her lying).

The divorce dragged on for a while. Around this time I became friends with my current wife. Was almost like love at first sight. We really hit it off and within 3 months after meeting we started casually dating. Sasha found out and spread the lie that I had been having an affair with my wife and that’s why I left her.

Then made up another lie that she was pregnant and I just left her and our unborn child for the other woman. This was totally bullsh-t but my family ate it all up. They never even gave me the chance to say my side. Coincidentally she “miscarried” from the stress of the divorce and I was in even bigger monster to them. Then they went for my wife too with calling her a homewrecker and many other horrible names.

Story 1:
AITA for keeping my family out of my house in the rain because they sided with my ex wife in the past?
Story 2:
AITA for kicking my brother out for announcing his wife's pregnancy right after I announced my daughter's diagnosis?
Story 3:
AITA for not forcing my son to apologize for what he told his cousin?
Story 4:
AITA for being ungrateful over my high school graduation gift?

#AITA #Parenting #Family

Content

Am I the a-hall for keeping my family out of my house in the rain because they sided with my ex-wife in the past, my ex-wife sasha and I didn't end amicably.

It was a total nightmare up until it was actually finalized.

She was in denial about a splitting and was doing everything to keep me in her life.

When that didn't work, she went overboard.

We were separated for seven months before I filed for divorce and only a few people knew about our status, but she kept telling everyone we were still together and just tried to work it out.

We weren't, but that was her lying.

The divorce dragged on for a while.

Around this time I became friends with my current wife.

It was almost like love at first sight.

We really hit it off and within three months after meeting, we started casually dating sasha found out that spread a lie that I had been having an affair with my wife and that's why I loved her then made up another lie that she was pregnant and I just left her and our unborn child.

For the other woman, this was total bull.

Crap but my family ate it all up.

They never even gave me the chance to see my side.

Then, coincidentally, she miscarried from the stress of the divorce, and I became an even bigger monster to them.

They went for my wife too, calling her a home record, many other horrible names.

My wife was amazingly supportive through this, and I tried to keep her out of it as much as I could, but in the end I cut my family out and for maybe about three years we haven't spoken.

My wife- and I just had a boy seven months ago- don't know how they did, but apparently my brother managed to catch.

My ex in her lies.

The truth has been trickling out and now they want contact except.

I don't want contact after how they acted it, especially not the way they treated my wife without ever once believing me or giving me the chance to tell my side my mom, my sister and my dad came to our place and begged to talk.

I refused to open the door, so they were left outside.

Coincidentally, it started to drizzle a little over here.

Still, I didn't, let them in my brother believes, I'm being an a-hole leaving them outside the way I did when their goal was to apologize, but I guess my mom said she felt humiliated and crushed.

I told him: that's fine that I'm glad they finally saw the truth, but in a way I saw the truth and how ugly they can be, even if they are remorseful now my life has been happy and full without them.

Now it's resorted into anger from him and my dad thinking, I'm being a nematory hall for not even giving them the chance to come into my home.

It seems wild to me that they'd go making me out to be the bad guy.

I don't really know.

Am I now for the top comments, not the day home.

The real reason they're contacting you is that they want to see your son interesting that you heard nothing from until your baby's birth.

Your family could have approached by phone call email text, but they really want to see your baby, and that is why they tried visiting in person before offering apologies ahead of time.

I've considered that the main reason too, don't know how long ago they learned the truth.

Apparently recent that really lines up with their behavior don't be surprised.

If they make another approach, I would make sure that there are no flying monkeys that would share photos of your child with them.

Wow not they hole, they locked you out of the storm of your divorce.

When you could have used shelter with your family, I could keep going making parallels, but I feel this is enough: I'm assuming they arrived there through their own transportation.

They could have just left instead of hanging out in the rain.

I'm gonna say not: they home.

They never should have gotten involved in your relationship drama the first place, and it's hilariously ironic that they're mad at opie for not giving them a chance to apologize when none of them gave op a chance to tell a side of the story.

All those years ago, I wouldn't be open to forgiving my family for their betrayal either, especially not with them.

Behaving like this.

This isn't remorse or contrition.

This is entitlement people who are actually sorry and understand how wrong they were.

Don't behave like this them calling him an immature hall for not immediately opening his home to them merely reiterates that they still do not grasp the extent of how messed up their behavior was next story.

Am I the a-hall for kicking my brother out for announcing his wife's pregnancy right after I announced my daughter's diagnosis just to make sure I represent both sides of the conflict.

My brother and his wife suffered from not having kids for years, and it impacted them greatly.

They loved kids in the family, but always wished to have kids on their own.

Lately we got busy with megan's 12 health problems.

She started suffering from anemia loss of appetite and recurring fevers we've taken her to the pediatrician and from there we've learned that she has cancer.

It was so devastating.

I didn't want to tell my family right away.

Most of them have chronic conditions, and this type of news might trigger a negative reaction because they love megan and would give everything to see her healthy.

My friends suggested using facebook, but no my husband and I decided to gather the family at my house this past wednesday to announce megan's diagnosis.

My aunt didn't take it well because she holds megan dear, so she was rightfully the most devastated one.

After a few minutes of complete silence, my brother started moving a seat, saying there's something very serious: he wanted to tell everyone he was hesitant, but then he and wife stood up.

Then he said they just found out.

They were finally expecting the family were conflicted, some good up to congratulate them and some remained seated.

I remained seated and my brother then approached me and expressed how sorry was that they had to tell us in these circumstances, but sadie couldn't wait, since this is a huge deal for them after years of waiting and because everyone was present literally everyone since said the announcements we wanted to make concerned megan.

I argued with him about how he thought this was an appropriate time and asked if megan mattered to him at all, since it didn't even take a minute to realize she was just diagnosed with cancer.

He started reminding me of how many years he and his wife suffered from frustration and disappointment for not being able to have kids and argued that, because he wasn't able to be a father until now he is 37.

He felt he was missing out on so much for many years and that I didn't have to finally tell him.

Congratulations, but should at least not kill him for feeling overwhelmed and excited to finally be a father.

He said I knew exactly how much he adores megan and I should even think otherwise then said he was just sharing good news.

After hearing the bad news, there was nothing wrong with that.

I told him and his wife to leave my house right.

Then he said I won't argue anymore because of how tense I felt, but will expect me to apologize at some point.

Some family agreed with me, but my parents thought I shouldn't have taken my anger out on him like that, and that he'll always remember my reaction to the news he gave and should apologize after I've calmed down.

First of all, I am so sorry about megan.

You sound like a great mom and I'm sure she's happy to have you this one sucks but not stay home.

Your brother's troubles suck, but at the end of the day it was not appropriate for him to take over your announcement like this.

It was a time for megan and for everyone to support her and took that from her.

I get what he was trying to do, but he should have run it by you first.

I do wish her luck with everything and hope she gets better.

His troubles suck.

Yes, I mean as a dad of two.

It took us six years to get two kids, so I can relate you know what is one thousand times worse, if not getting kids have your kid diagnosed with a life-threatening disease not today home, they should have waited, and maybe personally call family members to give the good news a bit later when things sink in it's just so inconsiderate to announce that there's a time with a place for everything who the hell hears a child's diagnosis and thinks.

Oh, this is the perfect time to announce our pregnancy.

I hope megan will be.

Okay and she's lucky to have such a wonderful mother like opie, not today, home your kid is cancer too bad, but anyways.

I've got some great news.

Folks, exactly oh pizza, her mother, so you are okay with brother, essentially announcing.

So sorry your child might die, but great news.

The wife and I will be able to supply a replacement grandchild not today home, I'm.

So sorry, my daughter went through the same thing at 14.

Fevers weakness, no appetite it was cancer, also you're, literally about to go through the worst experience of your life.

The only advice I have is to take care of yourself, you're, no good to your kid.

If you're so exhausted, you can't think everyone processes cancer differently.

My ex went full info mode had to know everything about treatment.

I concerned myself with my kids comfort, her happiness, her moral.

This worked for our family omg, the gifts, don't let it start, it will be brutal to other kids and cause resentment.

People always ask how to help tell them to order dinner, help with errands, etc.

You'll find that people really want to help, but don't know how or what to do.

I found food and meals.

The most helpful for the families took at home again, I'm so sorry, and you will always remember the reaction to your devastating news wishing you and yours all the best, not today home now for the next story.

Am I the a-hall for not forcing my son to apologize for what he told his cousin, my son, justin 17, and his cousin kane at 23 grew up together.

They were like brothers, but grew apart as they got older and now kane has a one-year-old son that he pays child support, for.

I haven't seen my family in a while due to work, but I arranged a family dinner at my home and my sister and kane came with my parents.

Justin bought a new iphone recently with his own money.

Kane saw it at dinner, table and asked justin.

If that was a new phone just nodded, then kane said man.

I don't remember the last time I bought something nice for myself then went on around about his son's mom at her never-ending demands for money to get clothes, slash, toys, slash food for her son.

Justin said that his son's needs are demands, and you should see it that way since he's the father and is obligated to provide for his kid.

This somehow upset kane and he turned his face towards justin.

It casually said yeah, sorry, but I don't take any parenting advice from virgins.

Everyone got quiet and justin looked around and saw the impact of what his cousin sat on everybody's face.

He has medical reasons for not being able to be in a relationship, so this must have really got to him.

He replied well, at least I don't have to pay child support, so I'm going to enjoy every penny I spend the best I can cain was fuming, but instead of flashing out like he always does he put his fork down his cab on then got up and walked out.

My sister followed then asked me for a private minute.

She got angry saying my son overstepped the line with his passive-aggressive backhanded comments towards his cousin and should stop rubbing his new electronics and gadgets in kane's face with complete disregard of his struggle and inability to afford one or two of the things just in hands.

I told her humiliating my sonded using his medical condition to gain advantage in an argument with a low blow then said that kane started it by bugging his cousin who, by the way, was minding his own business.

She said his behavior was childish.

Then he ended coming the minute he had tested his cousin and he 100 deserved to be shut down for talking to him like that and should be forced to publicly apologize.

So he won't do it again.

I refuse to make him apologize after she insisted which made her complain about what an enabler I was.

The dinner was ruined and she left my father said I should make justin apologize for causing kane to leave dinner, so he could get this over with, but I said I won't.

Am I the a-hole now for the commons? Not they home, though kane is the a-home.

He fathered a child, and now he needs to be responsible which costs money, throwing your son's medical condition in his face is horrible, childish, behavior, the only one who should apologize is kane.

He needs to be civil to his family too.

It's not a one-way street that only your son needs to be civil also.

They are 17 and 23 grown men, especially kane sure, still young and immature with underdeveloped brains, but good grief, demanding you make your 17 year old son apologize because he hurt his 23 year old.

Cousin's feelings is infantilizing.

They can work out their problems themselves or not.

You march a seven-year-old over to apologize for fighting, not an adult and even then kane started it.

So he should apologize or drop it owning a phone.

Isn't a personal insult.

Not today hall, your son made an incredibly valid point that cain's child needing clothes.

Food isn't a demand.

It's a basic necessity.

He as a father should be supplying having his mommy try and get an apology for him certainly does not paint him as being ready to be a father, not nejo.

This hundred percent cousin is the a-hole.

Your son make a valid point.

Then he got defensive lash out against your son, using a medical condition that he can't change and later because it's not going the way he wants abandoned the scene be asked your dad.

Kane was whining about his life, oh boo, freaking, who, if he don't want to pay child support, he shouldn't, have had unprotected action.

Duh.

Your son was putting cain in his place.

Nobody wants to hear someone rant about how awful their life is.

Kane, on the other hand, was hateful to your son.

You please, your son are absolutely not the a-holes, not nejo.

Kane sounds like he's 12, which isn't surprising, given the reaction of his mother last story is titled.

Am I the a-hole for being ungrateful over my high school graduation gift this happened years ago, but it's still brought up by my parents.

I 24 female, I'm the youngest daughter with my sisters being lisa, 29 female and gina 27 female.

Ever since I was young, I always felt like my sisters were treated differently since they were closer in age.

They did everything together, ice skating, lessons, horseback, riding lessons, etc.

Meanwhile, I was always on the sidelines watching them, like literally it sits at wherever they were at and just watch them.

My parents claimed.

I was too young to do those things, but I quickly learned that they probably just didn't, want to have to drive me somewhere else or didn't want to spend the money to enroll me either.

I also became in charge of taking care of my sisters being that I had to make sure that everything for their lessons were packed or they ate slash, packed their lunch, even though I'm way younger than them hell.

I even got yelled at by my mom once because I did make sure they packed lunch when I was 15 and they were 18 and 20 years old.

I was also treated like I was a lot older than my sisters or the same age as them anyway.

I also realized when I was in high school, that my parents just liked the excitement of having their children at a new stage in life.

Since my sisters are only one year and 10 months apart, they graduated high school and started college within a year for each other.

Meanwhile, I started high school when they both graduated, so it wasn't exciting to my parents, when I was in high school or graduated high school, which brings us to where might have been an a-hole the day of my high school graduation.

My mom kept complaining about having to attend because she already experienced it twice before so.

The day had already started off bad after we came back home from the ceremony.

My dad gave me a gift which was a small tiffany and co bracelet.

I was happy because I loved tiffany and co, and it was pretty my mom started getting all mad because she told my dad that they agreed to buy me a pen from there which was cheaper than a bracelet, because my sister elise's 22nd birthday was going to be in a couple of weeks.

That's when it got mad, and I started yelling about how lisa got a brand new porsche for her high school.

Graduation and gina got a five thousand dollars purse for her graduation, but a 500 bracelet was too expensive for me.

My mom called me an ungrateful brat and took the bracelet away from me a couple weeks ago.

I was talking about the story with my boyfriend's family about why I don't talk or visit my family as much, because my parents have done this a lot and even worse, sometimes his mom mentioned that while my parents were in the wrong, it's still rude to complain about any gift, no matter how small it is in comparison.

I definitely see her point, but am I the a-hole? I just want to see if my actions are hollish generally, I agree with your boyfriend's mom.

However the example you gave shows a huge unfairness that you, as a daughter, had a right to point out.

You get to point out when you were mistreated, not ahol.

Yes, you weren't complaining about the gift.

You were pointing out that your gift was ten percent, the cost of your sister's individual gifts, but your mom still felt it was too good for you hope in the future.

If you're telling the story to anyone else consider using percentages of the value instead of the actual prizes and items, I definitely think it's fair to be upset when you got a tiffany bracelet, where your sister got a porsche, but a lot of people will just hear.

I'm upset because all my parents got me for graduation was a tiffany bracelet.

That's really not the point of the story, so.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Terence Hammes MD

Last Updated: 24/01/2024

Views: 5363

Rating: 4.9 / 5 (69 voted)

Reviews: 84% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Terence Hammes MD

Birthday: 1992-04-11

Address: Suite 408 9446 Mercy Mews, West Roxie, CT 04904

Phone: +50312511349175

Job: Product Consulting Liaison

Hobby: Jogging, Motor sports, Nordic skating, Jigsaw puzzles, Bird watching, Nordic skating, Sculpting

Introduction: My name is Terence Hammes MD, I am a inexpensive, energetic, jolly, faithful, cheerful, proud, rich person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.